Western Australia

Would I offend anyone in saying that Western Australians seem to be a cross between redneck Americans and working class English? Probably not, as we don’t have any friends that fall into either category. Western Australians are loud and obnoxious, they dress like they still live in the 80s and they are small mindeed, seemingly knowing little of anything outside of their country. They are often overweight, especially the younger generation. But, above all (and closely coinciding with the last point) they are culinary barbarians, as we found out on the few occasions we went out for something to eat. When you order fish, no matter how exquisite or expensive, they will, without fail, serve it to you with a greasy layer of batter around it. This is ok when you buy it at the local fish and chips shop, but when you order an €80 seafood platter, when you go out for a special dinner, it is rather disappointing.

Words like quaint or pittoresque were also not invented to describe any place in Western Australia. The nature is fantastic and overwhelming, but anything manmade is nothing aside from practical and, in most cases, downright ugly. The houses, the buildings, the streets – making something look pleasing to the eye is obviously not a high priority. And as soon as they do manage to have built something that looks reasonably nice, or has some kind of history to it, they charge you for it. Like the one mile jetty in Carnavon, which is a jetty that, you guessed it, is one mile long. Built over 50 years ago, this is obviously a major heritage site, so they charge you $4 per person just to walk it. However, this is a bargain compared to taking the historic tram, for which you easily play upto $10 per person. Imagine taking your family with 3 kids for a trip there! As soon as there is anything remotely interesting to see or do it costs you, and they charge a premium price for it. Boat trip - $50 or more, diving - $120 for 1 dive, 4 WD drive tag along tour (you bring your own vehicle, diesel and lunch) - $170, going fishing - $190 per line, $250 if you share! It really takes the piss.

Thankfully, nature in Western Australia is still reasonable priced. Many National Parks and Nature Reserves are free, and for only $35 dollars you buy a holiday pass which gives you unlimited access to all the other parks for a period of four weeks. And even when you loose this pass, like we did when it blew out of the car in the Francois Perron National Park, a kind ranger will call the Tourist Office you bought it from to verify, and then issue you with a new pass. For free. Some things are good in Western Australia.